Let me first start off by apologizing if this is some long ramble. But I think that finding personal style can sometimes be really hard and take a very long time. There's a million factors that go into it. There's money, there's weather, there's values, there's dress codes, there's location. There's everything! And amidst all of that, you're kind of stuck there with your closet and what you have in your wallet trying to perfect your outfits and attempting to create this image of yourself and what you'll wear. As a high school student, I see this every single day. I won't even lie, I spend most of my school days in sweatpants. I feel like some people are afraid to wear sweatpants. It's like this thing where they say "OMG if I wear sweapants i'll look like this or people will think of me as this", and trust me that goes through my head everytime I pull them on. And to say I don't care would be an absolute lie. I go to school with girls who put their books in Michael Kors bags and wear $200 boots and do their makeup between classes.
You'd think I would be perfectly accustomed to that because of my blog......and to some degree I actually may be. But the 16 year old inside of me rationalizes that a) there's no way I'd get away with buying $200 boots, and I'd have to save my checks for a month to buy them and b) my IB books would absolutely kill that poor Michael Kors bag, even though they choose to carry their's by hand. And when i'm in those situations, that's really when I start to debate everything. I almost feel horrible, because every other day and on the weekends I dress to the nines and I pick out my favorite belts and do all these things, but during the school days i'll maybe dress up 2/5 days and the rest I just dress like a regular student.
I start to question. I start to ask myself "well.....since you own a fashion blog....shouldn't you be the one in the expensive boots? Shouldn't you be the one wearing makeup? Shouldn't you be the one taking all the risks and wearing cutouts shirts?" and I always end in the same conclusion. Maybe I should. All those feelings really started to bring me down. I literally stopped shopping. Whenever I would go into a store, say H&M or Forever21, I just wouldn't buy anything. I'd find something I like, then leave it because I'd be thinking what if that doesn't look good on my blog or what if other people don't like it?
But I feel like even now I don't have a personal style set in stone. I know what I like. I know my favorite color is blue, I know I like wearing long socks with boots, and I know that I like being comfortable. I feel like sometimes I pressure myself to wear things just because I might be expected to, or to wear them because "thats what everyone else wears" so I have to too.And thankfully, sometimes those things just don't look good nor do they work out on me. My goal for 2013 is to finally find my personal style and to love it. No more buying things because someone else has them. No more trying to wear things to fit into one label, and no more trying to wear things because they're a "requirement in a fashion blogger's closet" and they're "things every blogger should have". And yes, those two things in quotes are real things I have read.
I started blogging because I wanted to show you all what my style was, to make an impact, and to express myself. And I feel like that's slowly starting to slip away because I try to fit certain molds or I try to hold up to certain standards because I think others will like it instead of me knowing I myself will like it.
So, as I spend the next week in New Orleans (wedding woohooo!), I hope I come back with a fresh perspective and the preparation to really begin to be myself. And I hope you all do too. Stick to who you are and love what you love! Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays to you all, and thank you for always supporting my blog!<3
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